Disclaimer: I am sorry
to say but this post may arouse a feeling of negativity and dismay into
somebody’s head so it is recommended not to read the content below if you possess
a character which is highly affinitive to emotions. Can’t help it. L
I had never thought of writing such a post which would be written in such a state of mind when I had no message for the readers but seeking
a message for the self. Eventually, I better considered vomiting it out what I couldn’t
digest since a time back.
I feel like abusing and punishing those who turned me a
coward for the time when most of us are enjoying the best time one could
cherish about. I feel envious of those who got that smile on their face when time
gave me no reasons to cheer up. It feels like shivering with that wave of breakdown
as the time runs out and following that a vacuum which has all that dark space
where nothing seems visible.
I had no clue that ignorance and self denial could ever be
such haunting and it is quite unbearable to take it anymore. Emotional
evolution is not favorable if the expectations are not met. That evolution
should meet its objectives before it turns into an emotional warfare.
I am not a coward anymore and not even an introvert. I am not
shy and not even that fragile. But, I have only that feeling of guilt that I could
never write anything on that blank piece of paper. L
